Hidden Regrets
by MadzKym
Summary: Hermione has always been a Malfoy, Draco has always been a Granger. They have always hated each other, still do. Harry, Ron, and Draco are going back to school. Along with their enemy. Hermione. Sorry the summary kinda sucks... also I don't own anything.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, so new story, I hope you like it I know my Megamind story kinda really failed... Anyways this is in Hermione's point of view. AU. Thanks for reading :D I also don't own anything.**

I, Hermione Malfoy hated that Potter boy, and his goonies. Ronald Weasley and Draco Granger. That mudblood Granger. Just thinking of him made my pureblood boil. I wanted him to feel how it felt to have parents who didn't care. They only cared about how pure your blood was. They didn't care that their only daughter had risked her neck during the last two years. One had made me physically ill. The other I had killed many mudbloods. Or it was my own blood that would have been spilt on the drawing room floor. But that was last year. This year was different. I know mudbloods and I are the same. And I am of course going to finish my last year at Hogwarts. Unfortunately so is Granger, Weasley, and Potter. Thank goodness I was Head-girl again. My own dorms and maybe this year I won't be stuck with the Hufflepuff's head boy and girl.

"Hermione! You must get yourself down to the table this instant!" My father's voice rasped past my door. I sighed and pushed the brush down my softly shimmering blonde hair, putting the finishing touches on the black eyeliner around my piercing ice blue eyes. I couldn't help but hope for a new start into this year. The tattoo the Dark Lord had forced me to get was slowly fading until it only looked like a normal tattoo. Not something that would burn and force you to murder. Just to preserve your own life. Most of the past year I had thought it would be easy to just refuse to do it. To have them end my own life, not theirs. Until I saw dear Auntie Bella carve the word mudblood on each and every living persons arm. Every mudblood she saw it would happen. All because they had 'dirty blood' if there were such a thing as that.

I stood up and grabbed some muggle clothing. Black skinny jeans with a grey knitted shirt. After I had changed into them I walked downstairs. Slowing down as I heard my parents talking. "What are we to do with her?" My father asked, "Are we to just allow her to go, even after all she's been through?" He persisted.

"I think she has been taking this very well." My mother's stiff voice left no room for argument. The wooden chairs scraped against the wooden polished floor. signaling that they were seated. I took that as my cue to enter. "What have you done to your hair?!" Barked my mother. True, I had slicked it back into a ponytail, I thought that it wouldn't matter. Obviously I was dead wrong. "You turn around and fix it right this instant! I expect it to be cascading down your back with soft curls around the front of it." I sighed and turned around walking back up the three flights of stairs until I got to the metal doors marking my room. Pulling them open I walked to the vanity, tapping my head lightly I pictured the hair-do in my mind, instantly my hair unraveled and poured out, mimicking the picture in my head. I glanced regretfully at the curling iron and straightener, I had been forbidden to touch them, let alone buy them. Even if I had been allowed I still had no clue how to even use one. I've been warned never to touch muggle items.

I walked back down the stairs and into the silent room, both parents had gone to work. A note read;

_Hermione, _

_I hope you look presentable. Your father and I had to leave, you can use the floo powder to get to Borgin and Burkes. I had it cleared with them, from there you are to leave to the train station. Remember, you are a Malfoy and don't let them see how far down we have sunk. _

_Mother._

I looked at the note, lip curling into a sneer. I stepped into the empty fireplace and shouted "Knockturn Alley, Borgin and Burkes." A dizzying moment later and I was there. Knocking off the soot I walked out the door, shaking my head confused as to why I couldn't have just apparated to the train station. I had all of my stuff. Well, I needed a new broom as my last one had been crashed into million pieces of splintered wood at the chase for Potter. I walked in to the nearest quidditch store I saw. Instantly the newest model that had come out hit my eyes. I walked over and ran my hand down the wood. It instantly buzzed under my touch coming to life.

"Your father and mother already bought you one, it's right here." A greasy voice said behind me. I turned around to see a man reach behind the counter and grabbed the broom. Engraved onto it was my name. "Have a good year, Miss Malfoy." He smirked like he knew something I didn't. A shiver went down my spine like something was going to happen. I hated not knowing. I walked outside and to the apparation point. Focusing on the place I wanted to go I closed my eyes and after feeling like a gerbil in a tube I was there, breathing a bit deeper to get some air into my lungs I transported all of my stuff to me and onto a trolley that was just sitting there.

"Here goes nothing" I muttered as I walked through the wall to the train.

**Sorry it's short. I just want feedback on it, and if I should keep it or not. If I continue writing it then it will have longer chapters. I am still writing the Mulan story and a friend and I are writing a crossover of Beauty and the Beast and Hercules. Both chapters**


	2. A New Year, A New Start Or Not

The piercing whistle was cast through the din of witches and wizards talking. Many were younger, as most my age had either been killed in the fight or ran away, never to be seen or heard from again. I looked quickly around. Good. No one noticed me yet, I vowed to try to keep it that way until I at least got back to Hogwarts.

As I started the walk from the wall to the train I bumped shoulders with someone. I sneered as I turned to look at the idiot, when I found myself facing Granger, Potty, and Weasel. 'What a fantastic accessory to my already perfect day.' I thought bitterly to myself. I continued walking, grimacing slightly when I heard Weasel say "I told you she was a filthy git! She didn't even apologize!" I ignored the way my eyes pricked at this.

I kept walking until I boarded the train and hauled all of my stuff with me inside. 'It's jam packed!' I cursed silently to myself. There was no way I could get past all these people without them realizing who I was. Well... Better to announce my presence in a big way, after all... I was now a known Death Eater. Not that the Ministry could prove that it hadn't or had been of my own free will. No one except me knew the answer to that. And no one, not even my parents, would find out. The only person who actually knew was long dead. Killed by the Weasel's mother.

"MOVE!" I yelled at some poor first year, she pulled a comical shriek while jumping back into her friend. Everyone moved out of my way as I pulled out my wand. "Now go back to your... Business." My sneer became even more pronounced as they all scurried away as fast as their little legs could carry them. None would know just how much I regretted everything I had ever done. I could never tell anyone. Ever.

I moved to the front of the train towards the front where we Slytherins claimed our territory. After all, we 'purebloods' deserve the best of everything I thought bitterly. How had anyone ever even had the thought that someones blood was different then each others? It's sick is what it is. I had seen far too much blood spill in front of my eyes. I had stained my fingers with the crimson colors, the stench, a mixture of rust, salt, and just plain gross hadn't ever been far from my mind since then.

"Hermione!" A deep male's voice said as Blaise picked up my trunk, "Need some help?" he asked. I simply nodded and followed him into his compartment where all of our gang was. Pansy apparently decided to come back too. Other than that it was just us three, quite awkward since I knew Blaise liked Pansy, and vice versa. I slipped into the compartment and sat on the soft, plush seats of the train.

"Transfigure the seats again, Pansy?" I smirked as Pansy let out a high pitched shriek of laughter. "I'll take that as a yes." With that said I settled back against the seats trying to find a comfortable spot while Pansy and Blaise went back to their flirting game. Which pretty much just included them getting all cuddly and weird.

"I'm going to go to the Head Girl compartment." I stood up and slid the sliding glass door open, shutting it behind me I strutted to the compartment. Trying to ignore the looks from the other students who most likely wanted me dead but I couldn't let anyone see just how much I didn't want to be there, be in the center of attention. I regret everything! I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. 'But as a Malfoy I couldn't, I had a certain image I must keep. Otherwise dear Mumsy and Daddy would hear about it' I thought bitterly, hating how even after the Dark Lord had been killed I was still kept under close scrutiny as to make sure I didn't do something that would let 'Mudbloods' know that I didn't hate them.

Lost in thought it didn't take as long as I thought it would to get to the head of the train to the Heads compartment. I slid the door open, walked inside, and sighed as I shut the door again. The compartment was like the rest of the train, bland, not really something to cheery to look at, and believe me when I say that I have had enough of things not being cheery. Having the Dark Lord at your house and taking over everything you held dear to you kinda did that to you. Everyone and everything had to have a sinister motive or morbid reason for everything, or anything to happen. I couldn't close my eyes without seeing blood spurting from vital veins and hearing the screams of those being tortured. Unconsciously my left arm wrapped around my stomach.

My arm dropped immediately at the sound of a door being slid open behind me. I heard some soft footsteps before they suddenly stopped as if they just realized who was in front of them and I realized I should have probably sat down. Too late now.

"Malfoy?!" Granger's annoying voice said. Crap... Granger was Head Boy? Why didn't I think of that before? I cursed my stupidity at the moment. After all he was top of the class, top of everything. And my parents didn't let me forget that a boy of his heritage had beaten a pureblood at everything. Inwardly I winced as I repeatedly felt the blows from my father.

I turned to face him. "What is it Granger?" I sneered and made a show of wrinkling my nose. I swaggered over and sat down in the first seat I saw. "Where's Potty and the Weasel?" I continued with a voice so full of... Well malicious that even I winced slightly.

"Why are you Head Girl?" Granger said, he still hadn't moved from the front of the door. "What have you done to earn that right?" He marched up to me and stood above where I was sprawled on the seats. He glared at me, his brown eyes full of hate that somehow hurt me.

"Are you done?" I commented dryly, Granger just glared at me so I took that as a yes. "I'm here because I'm Head Girl, someone who claims to be smart obviously couldn't have missed the emblem on my robes now could they?" I smirked as his face was tinged pink. "I think I got this position because Mcgonagall wants to keep a closer eye on me." I drawled acting as if it didn't really concern me. "It also can't be the fact that I'm almost better than you at every class." I added sarcastically, even though it was true.

"Oh." was all he said before he sat down on the seat across from me, straight backed and perfect posture. Completely opposite from me in my spread out across the whole bench.

The rest of the trip to Hogwarts was filled with awkward silence before I gave in first and returned to the compartment where Blaise and Pansy were now snogging with extreme intent.

"Ahem.." I said as I watched them jump apart as if someone had used the crucio curse on them. "Home sweet home." I muttered under my breath. Almost too quiet for even myself to hear it, as the train pulled up to the Hogsmeade station. I grabbed my stuff and went to the first carriage I saw. And for the first time I saw thestrals. The skeleton horses looked at me as if they wanted nothing more than to stomp, charge, and dispose of my body as one looked me straight in the eyes. Shaking myself slightly I force myself onto the carriage and try to control my breathing.

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing! If there's anything you would want to happen tell me? Maybe it can happen?:) **

_**Voldemort see's red,**_

_**Ron's eyes are blue...**_

_** Please review?**_

_** Or Hermione will hex you. **_

**I know they aren't exactly long chapters, they should be getting longer soon. Farewell my dear readers.**


	3. Nothing's Ever As It Seems

**Anything you guys want to appear in the next few chapters?**

Since I knew I couldn't show any weakness I knew I would have to act like nothing was wrong. Like I was still the same Malfoy I had been all these years. The same self-centered, slimy git I had always been. However I still think git is something that would more describe a guy... But not everyone agrees with me. Namely the Weasel and Potthead. Not to mention Granger, the stuck up know-it-all of a Mudblood. 'Merlin,' I groaned to myself as I flaunt into the Great Hall after pretty much everyone had arrived. 'I really need to stop saying that. I know that blood doesn't matter. Especially when dear Auntie Bella cut his skin open, his dark blood spilling onto the floor.' I felt my face pale a bit more than the already almost ghost pale color. 'I can't afford to think about that!' I scolded myself.

I sat down finally, next to Theo Nott. He nodded slightly to me and swiveled around to look at Headmistress Mcgonagall, there's no way someone wouldn't listen to her. As she stood up and everyone leaned in to listen closely to her. That was my cue to relax and think about my own problems. In fact I still wasn't sure why she invited me back. Especially when I had tried to kill Dumbledore, but I suppose the only reason she would invite me back would be because she wanted to keep a close look on me. I tuned into what she was saying.

"Now I know that it was a rough year last year." She visibly swallowed as she said that. "However I hope we can all get over that and promote House Unity. In fact," She paused as she glanced towards Draco and me. "That is why we are now having two Heads from houses that have always hated each other. I know that last year you had a Hufflepuff and Slytherin as the Heads, but now..." She trailed off as some students twittered around me. Theo whispered to me that he hoped that I wouldn't have to deal with one of the "Golden Trio." I just nodded, already knowing that I would have to deal with the one that had always been the smartest of them all.

I knew Mcgonagall had spilled who was going to be the Heads when hate filled eyes glared at me. I just smirked, hoping no one would know just how inferior I felt at that moment. Everyone stopped looking lethal as they turned their now hungry eyes to the food that was appearing on the tables. I grabbed the closest dish and spooned out a small amount and started playing with my food. I picked at it with my fork before I gave up even the pretense of eating, staring at it. Almost as if it would give me answer I craved.

I finally heard the scraping of bodies getting off the benches when I came too. I slowly got up and started to walk towards Pansy when someone grabbed my arm.

"Get off of-" I turned around. "Oh, it's you." I looked at Draco. "What do you want?" I masked my curiosity by harshness.

"_We_" He emphasized the 'we' part, "have to go to the Heads commons." He let go of my arm almost as if he had just realized he had it there. Honestly I had completely forgotten he had his hand there. "You do know where it is right?" Of course, leave it to know-it-all Granger to know where everything is. "Follow me." He looked smug, if that was even possible. I glared at his retreating figure as I followed him.

Instead of going to the dungeons like I was used to doing we headed up to the Fourth floor, and into a corridor. He stopped suddenly at a blank wall next to a landscape portrait. "There used to be a mirror here." Mr-know-it-all muttered, stretching out a slightly tanned hand he pressed it to the empty wall. And to my utmost surprise; nothing happened.

"I am soooo shocked right now." Sarcasm heavy on my tongue. Granger bit his lip, took the badge off his chest and reached again to the wall.

I was in the midst of rolling my eyes when a slight rumble brought my eyes to the wall disappearing into the ground.

"Hopefully that smashes some first years." I grin at the appalled look on Granger's face as I say that. Stalking past him I walk into the new opened common rooms. "Isn't this where the mirror was? You know the hidden passageway?"

"What in Merlin's pants are you talking about?" Granger's expression almost sent me into a fit of giggles. Luckily, I am a Malfoy and Malfoy's have impeccable poker faces. I just shrugged and took a quick look around. "Mine is on the left I suppose, and your's is on the right." Granger narrated as he spoke.

"Well.. Men are on the left because women are always right." I turned and went into my dormitory. The bed was like those in the Slytherin dormitories, the bed's frame was a dark wood with silver snakes on it, bedspread silver that accented nicely to the seafoam green with more of a green color to it then the more blue in it. "Well... This is girly." I announced to the empty room. Flopping down onto my bed I realize the ceiling has been enchanted to show you the weather outside. Much like the Great Hall's ceiling.

_An ear splitting shriek broke the dead silence of the night. I could feel my heart pounding, almost as if it was telling me something... Something that was about to change... Trying not to hyperventilate I start taking deep breaths. Not that they helped me at all. Curling up next to the red corner wall, I couldn't help but think how it looked horribly like dried blood. Closing my eyes I try to relax, try to ignore everything. _

I woke up, cold sweat made my t-shirt stick to my back. Every night the same nightmare, every time I close my eyes I'm back in the red room, walls red because they had been painted with blood from those previously tortured. Including me.

My door flung open and Granger rushed in. "Are you okay? I heard screaming and I thought..." He trailed off as he noticed that I was only in a t-shirt and knickers.

Grabbing my covers I covered myself with them. "Knock first." I said coldly. "And for the record. I am fine, no need to check up on me like I'm Weasel-bee who needs someone to take care of him." I knew I was being harsh but frankly, I didn't care. I stood up and dropped the covers and walked towards my closet where my robes were. "If you would please leave I would like to get dressed before class starts today." I smirk as he leaves in a hurry, 'Boys.' I think, 'So manipulative.'

The first class today was double potions. And of course Blaise and Pansy were so wrapped up in each other that neither noticed their potion had taken a life of its own until they were covered in some type of gooey gunk. I kinda felt bad for not telling them, until I heard just how mushy their conversation was. I'm fairly certain I would need a puke bag within 100 feet of them.

"Hey, Pans.. Blaise, maybe you should go wash off before it spreads to the rest of us." I say as the gunk moved by itself. "Right now would be a fantastic time to leave too." I added, staring at the gunk as it moved like a snake. "Leave!" I said as harshly as I could to my best friends. "Now!" They stopped their laughter at each other, glanced over at me and saw some gunk heading towards me.

"Aww... Did 'Mione make a new friend?" Pansy said in a fake baby voice. I glared at her.

"Put this thing back where it came from... Or so help me." I muttered to them. A burst of laughter made me look over to where the Gryffindorks were. Movement in front of me had me grab my wand that was up my sleeve until I realized that it was just Blaise picking up the gooey slimy mess.

"The dragon has been slayed, Princess." Sarcasm so thick on his voice you couldn't have hit him with a five-foot stilettos through it, even if you did have perfect aim. He saluted and left.

"Good riddance." Daphne said behind me, "we are going to be the laughing stock for the rest of the day." She groaned, I nodded in agreement.

"Why can't they just behave like that in the common room?" I moaned to her. "Would it really kill them?" She just shrugged and went back to working on the potion we all had to create. Bulgeye Potion, not a lot was known about it, except when drunk the eyes with swell up and turn green.

Turning back to my own potion I crush up a pint of beetle eyes, using the flat edge of my blade to get more juice out of them. After I had the desired amount I moved onto the five eel eyes, chopping them up into small slices. Putting them in and stirring them three times clockwise, twice counter-clockwise and adding some lacewings. Letting them stew for a few minutes and the potion was done. Fairly easy. I glance at the clock, only ten more minutes before class is over.

A hissing sound pierced the quiet chatter going on, everyone's eyes swiveled towards Weasley and Potter who had managed to add cockroach eyes into the mix instead of beetle eyes. The liquid was heading towards the floor, everything it touched began to grow eyes on it. Thankfully it didn't come into contact with anyone.

A wave of his wand and Slughorn made everything back to how it was, minus the potion. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley. Detention tonight at eight." I snickered. "You also Miss. Malfoy." I groaned. The two boys started to protest before Granger said something to them that made them shut up. If I didn't know better than I would say that he used silencio on them.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully and was soon over much to me not wanting it to. I skipped dinner because of the stupid homework we had, on the bloody first day! Going straight to the Head's common I had just entered the room when voices stopped talking.

I dropped my book bag on the table around the fireplace and claimed a chair which was, unfortunately, next to Potter.

"What are you doing here Malfoy?" The venom in Potter's voice never ceased to amaze me.

"Homework." I replied, acting as if I could care less that he and his posse were in the common room with me. I pull out the potion essay we had on Alihotsy Draught, two freaking pages too on the effects and difficulties in making it and taking it. Pulling out a quill I start to write the blue characteristics of it, thankful that Snape was my Godfather... Well, before he died anyways.

The scratching of quills on parchment was all that was heard until a quarter to eight all three Gryffindorks left, presumably for dinner. I slipped my now finished parchment into my bag, stretched and went to follow them. Well... Stalk them.

"Did you see the way she just sat there working on her homework as if we weren't there?" The Weasel said. The other two nodded, "Has she been giving you any troubles Draco?" Both boys looked over at the brown-haired one.

"Not as much as you would think, it's almost as if she has grown up. She doesn't really talk and keeps to herself." Granger's voice was almost puzzled. "It's like she is sick of all the House hatred."

"This is Malfoy we are talking about. Hermione Malfoy." Potter said, "She almost killed Dumbledore, and most certainly killed muggles. Maybe even muggle-borns." The spite in his voice spiked my blood. So what if I had to kill them? It was them or me and now I wonder if I made the right choice.

"Oh come off it." Granger said, "It's not like she gave you away, how do you know that she hasn't changed a bit?" I had heard enough I didn't need to just stand there and take it, even if they didn't know I had been listening.

I stopped to let them get ahead of me until I could barely hear them before I sauntered towards and past them. Ignoring the stares burning holes into my back.

By the time I had reached Slughorn's office it was only five minutes till detention started. I knocked and waited for a "Come in." After letting myself in I sat on a desk, wondering what type of torture was in store for me. Knowing the-boy-who-should-have-snuffed-it would get out of doing it, along with his best friend. I sigh quietly to myself as the hands on the clock signal it to be eight.

"Miss Malfoy." Slughorn hauled himself out of his office, quite a feat for someone his size. "We will wait for the others before we begin." He plopped himself into his cushy chair. I only nodded, shocked. "You were close to Professor Snape," He began, "Do you know of any potions he created that has not been published?" His tone curious. 'Crap...' I thought, 'Do I know any? Heck, I helped create some. Not that I'm going to tell the fat oaf that.' That settled quite smugly in my mind.

"No sir." I said, tapping my fingers against the top of the desks waiting for Potty and Weasel to show up. When the door finally opened up I was desperate, it had been half an hour under Slughorn's gaze and I was feeling very... .Uncomfortable.

"Sorry we are late, Professor." The boy-who-will-never-be-a-man said. "We were held up." He explained.

"No need to explain Harry m' boy." Slughorn said, Weasel's face turned a bit green and I fought the desire to gag at the enthusiasm Slughorn put into his words. "Now all three of you will be cleaning and organizing my cabinets alphabetically, no magic." He said as he disappeared into his office.

I stand up and walk over to the cabinets, and look over my shoulder at the boys.

"Look. How about we put our past behind us and actually get this stupid thing done?" I ask, for once being civil to Weasel-bee and Potter. Grandpa Malfoy was probably turning in his grave right now, I thought gleefully. Both boys just stared stupidly at me. "I really don't want to be here all night." I added. I opened up a cabinet and pulled out a bunch of jars, most had been collected with my help.

"Are you talking to us now?" Weasel's voice was really grating on my nerves, he really couldn't sound tough could he? Poor boy.

"If it means getting out of here faster than yes." I didn't even grace him with a look in his direction. I grabbed the jar containing Asphodel. The lily like flower just bobbed up and down in a clear liquid that preserved it. "Are you going to help?"

"No." Was heard the same time as "Yes." I turn around. "Yes or no?" I ask, hiding my confusion.

Potter was the first to recover. "Yes we will help you, but." He held up a finger. "If you aren't sarcastic or anything like that."

"Since when am I ever sarcastic?" I said in a deadly serious voice. "but I will agree to that if, and only if you two aren't complete idiots." I stuck my hand out for them to shake. "Deal?"

Potter looked over at Weasel and shrugged. He shook my hand, "Ron? Are you going to help?" Potter asked his best friend. "As long as she doesn't call me your red-haired sidekick."

"I can do that Weasel-bee." I smirk as his face turns red.

"Don't. Call. Me. That." His voice was low, I put my hands up.

"Whatever." Was all I said before I started to clean the cabinet again. "Potter, you start on the left side of the room, Weasel you have to closet. I've got the right side of the room." I gestured to the cabinet I was already working on. "Let's put the ingredients that start with A on the left, and go from there." Was the last thing I said to either of them. By the time we had finished cleaning and putting everything away starting with Acromantula Venom and ending with Wormwood Essence it was around midnight.

"Very well done!" Slughorn's booming voice said as he walked over to where we had all met at the very last cabinet on the far right. "You may all go, except Miss Malfoy, I have a question for you." After they had left he gently tugged on my arm. "Mr. Granger told me about how you didn't sleep very well last night. And I have something for you." He turned around and went to his desk. Pulling out a sleeping draught he waddles back to me. "This is for you, however it's only temporary." He warned me as he pushes me out of the room. "Sleep well." He calls.

**I would appreciate it if something was misspelled or incorrect you would point it out? I don't have a beta and I'm sure that is fairly obvious. Please review? Or else each of you will be force-fed Bulgeye. **


	4. Why Can't Things Ever Be Simple?

The door slammed shut in my face. 'Thanks for nothing.' I think bitterly. I glare at the vial, daydreaming of throwing it on the stone floor, however; I'm sure that is dangerous to think. Especially when Saint Potter's friends are involved. I passed the vial from hand to hand, terrified and excited about the dreamless sleep. The dreams are what tell us that it's over, that we are fine. 'And scars don't say tell the same story.' A snide voice said sarcastically in my head.

"Lovely." My face soured. "Now the voices in my head are being sarcastic." I glare at a blank portrait, if only it were a simpler time. Even a few years ago would be better than nightmares every night, an ugly mark that would forever mark me as an outcast, and, if I was being completely honest, the scars from other Death Eaters are now forever in my foreseeable future. Fantastic.

"What does she think she's playing at?!" A familiar voice sneered. "Thinking that if she's nice to us suddenly then it won't matter that she made our lives Hell?" I closed my eyes, ah yes, Granger obviously invited his little friends back over.

"Ronald Weasley!" Granger's voice was lower than usual. "Malfoy maybe still be a prat but at least she has been making an effort to be nice." A long pause. "Unlike some-"

Rolling my shoulders back slightly, lifting my chin up and staring at the ceiling I composed myself. Stiffly I walked over to the wall and opened it. I glided in, trying to ignore the pointed look from Weaselbee. Nodding a good night to Granger and Potter I went to my dormitory and slunk in as fast as I could without being called an idiot.

"Silencio"' I muttered as I waved my wand at the room. "'Muffliato." As the two charms were cast I threw myself in such a way my mother would have a tizzy about it for months on end if she ever found out. "Ladies are never supposed to collapse, fall, sink, and most of all throw themselves onto a bed, couch, or chair." I said, imitating my mother's voice. "Oh and while not doing that, ladies are most certainly not allowed to wear trousers." I chuckle without humor as I pull out some silk pajamas. I look helplessly at the walls of the room, I am not going crazy. I am not going crazy. Not crazy. Definitely not crazy at all for talking to an empty room with silencing charms on them. "I am not crazy." I said at the reflection in the mirror.

Casting off the robes I stretched, happy to get out of them. They may seem comfy but the make Hell feel like Antarctica. Next came the white blouse, along with the skirt. Leaving me in my lacy black bra and matching knickers.

The handle of the door opened just as I bent over to get my pajamas.

"Malfoy! I was wondering if you..." Potter trailed off as he took in my bent form. I froze for a second before I mentally shrugged, if he was going to look might as well give him a show.

"Yes Potter?" I ask, straightening my body out and turning to face him, a hip thrust out slightly more than the other, giving me an appearance of a belly dancer. I watched him closely as his adam's apple bobbed up and down, his eyes dilated slightly. I smirked, so easy.

"Uhh." Was the intelligent response to my question.

"Honey, if you're going to come in here at random times you may want to learn to talk to a partially naked woman." I walked closer to him, my voice bordering between flirting and teasing. My hips swayed and I saw him glance down. Soon I was close enough that if I reached a hand out I could touch his arm.

As I was pondering what I should do a sudden hitch in Potter's throat made me glance at him. He was staring in horror at my stomach. At the horrible scar my dear Auntie left me as a present. I glance at his eyes, they are hardened with something I couldn't quite understand.

"What. Happened." His voice stated that it wasn't a question it was an order to tell him.

"Nothing." I turned around, walking back to the safety of my bed, to the safety of clothes on the scars. My hand reached to grab my night dress when a warmer hand grabbed mine, forcing it out of the way.

"Malfoy, a scar like that obviously had to have happened on purpose." Potter spun me around. "Now. Tell. Me. What. Happened." His eyes were boring into mine. Those green eyes that had never been too sharp to notice if something was wrong was now filled with concern.

Yanking my arm out of his grasp I glare at him.

"I don't know what you're playing at, but nothing happened and you didn't see anything." I whipped my wand out and pointed it to his throat. "If I even hear the slightest hint that I have a scar on my stomach you will wish that Voldemort had killed you once and for all." Wide eyes stared at me, concern still filled them along with a subtle sign of fear.

He nodded once and then left.

I pulled the nightdress over me right before Granger came barreling over to my door.

"Come on, come play truth or dare with us!" His voice sounded oddly excited about a game that normally only witches played.

"What?" I ask, my head cocked to the side. Granger just grabbed my arm and pulled me to the common room where the other two boys were sitting. Empty bottles of Firewhiskey littered the floor.

I groan, great I get to play a game with tipsy, and/or drunk boys. Just what I wanted to do on my first weekend back at school. I shook my head no at the three boys, yanked my arm away for the second time in as much minutes and walked back to my room. Shutting the door I pull the sleeping draught out, staring at it.

The draught could either help me with my nightmares or make them ten times worse. The pale blue color of it brought to mind the soft sky on a warm summer's day. What the hell, if you're going to do something you might regret might as well enjoy some of it. I poured the contents down my throat, gagging at the extremely sweet taste.

_"Please... Please... If not for me, for them." An old woman gestured to the children around her. I only shook my head knowing if I gave in then it was my life for theirs and their lives would be cut short after so much more pain. _

_"I'm sorry." I whispered before raising my wand at her. "Avada Kedavra." Jet green light hits the woman, her body falls to the ground. The children all know that they're next, it's obvious as they try to run. _

_The sound of a warm body being torn by teeth hit my ears. Greyback found his dinner then. I walk out of the home. Wondering how I could have been stupid enough to actually believe this crap. _

"What's wrong with her?!" A panic stricken voice said.

"Leave me alone mum." I slurred before sleep pulling me back under.

_"THOUGHT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH THAT STUNT DID YOU?!" Bellatrix screeched at me, shaking me roughly before dropping me on the floor. "DID YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU AFTER YOU LET THEM ESCAPE! WE HAD POTTER!" Her shrill voice rang out. "This is on your head." She said deadly silent as Voldemort walked over to us. "This girl is of no use to us m'lord." Bellatrix said, desperately wanting to kill me. It was obvious by her voice. _

_"Not yet." Voldemort's chilling voice sent shivers down my back, not that I let him see that. I glanced at the floor like a follower was to do in the presence of his Lordship. "You may torture the girl, but I want her still alive." He disappeared without another word._

_"You heard him." Bella's voice cackled, soft like she was holding a newborn. "CRUCIO!" She cried out as I felt a million little knives sink themselves over and over again into my body. By the time she was done with that particular torture I couldn't see straight. I could barely breathe. _

_Weights pounded against my wrists, pinning them down and shattering them. It was a miracle I hadn't cried out yet. Even as the Death Eater's favorite target practice it hadn't been this bad. _

_"You will watch me as I do this." Bella whispered. My eyes snapped open of their own accord as a long black knife was produced from her robes. My eyes widened. "Yes you may recognize this." A malicious smile on her face as she stroked the back softly. "Laced with baneberries you know. Keeps the wound fresh looking for the next... Hmm... Well... Until you have long since died." She feigned a sigh of regret. "However... It also has traces of bloodroot in it. Perfect for making it a torture for life." _

_Of course. Not only will it look fresh forever, but it will also be able to open easily. Just my luck._

_My shirt was torn open and the tip of the blade cut into my skin. The pain was worse than crucio mixed with feindfyre. My screams were drowned out by the laughter of Death Eaters. Including my parents. _

"Shhh. You're okay, you're safe now." A soft voice said, hands smoothed my hair before one slipped down to rub my back. "It's okay, it was only a dream." The voice sounded worried. I tried to open my eyes but they refused to open, it was like the weights were on them instead of my hands.

"It was only a dream." The voice repeated before lips brushed my temple. I jolted out of whatever stupor I had been in before.

"Harry?"

**So for this story I am currently deciding between Harry or Draco for Hermione. Anyone have a specific one they want her to be with**?


	5. Sometime's It's Better Not To Wake Up

Potter's acid green eyes widened, terrified I would yell at him since he was holding me…. In my bed… In his arms.

I pushed him away and fell off the bed onto the floor as Potter had decided to let me go. My body landed on the floor with a solid _THUNK_.

"Owwww, my head." I moaned, sitting up I grasp my throbbing head putting my elbows on my knees that had came up towards my chest. "Jeez, it feels like a herd of elephants are pounding on my brain." I wince.

"That is if you even had a brain." Potter said. I whirl around to face him, breath hitching at the pain.

"Don't even think about it Potter." I mutter standing up. His amused expression just added fire to fuel my rage. "Why were you even in my room?" I accuse.

He shrugs and throws the duvet off him. My eyes traitorously scan up and down his body as he stands and stretches. His toned body on display, strong broad shoulders that flex as he rolls them back slightly, each muscle ripples slightly_. 'Snap out of it.' _I think, _'like you want me to.' _A voice whispered slyly. He walks to the door without another glance at me. _'Pathetic.' _I thought, mainly about myself.

"We won't talk about this right?" He asked, turning slightly around to judge my expression.

"Duh." Was the only response he got. Seriously… Who asks something like that?! He nodded once, turned back towards the door and started to open it. "Wait!" I say quickly, "Why were you in here anyways?" I ask again. I walk closer to him. "Tell. Me."

"I honestly don't know." The-boy-who-lived-to-be-a-pain-in-my-proverbial-ba ckside said, looking everywhere but me.

"Liar." I walk even closer to him. "Now. Tell. Me." My voice was the only thing that could be heard in the deadly silent room. Again Potter just shrugged. "Please?" I ask, getting a little bit more desperate than I ever wanted to sound when it came to my arch-nemesis. He just shook his head. "Slag." I said as I walked around him, gently pushing past him with my hips. I yank the door open and walk out, leaving Potter in my room, confused. At least I think he is.

'_The hands on the clock and the things we cannot change.' _whispered around my head. _'Not that I could ever change that.' _Was the only thing that stopped me from acting rashly, like say, stealing a time-turner and going into the past. Far enough that no one would have ever heard of a Malfoy. Much less have ever seen one. I absuloutly loathed myself for being a Death Eater, not that anyone would ever know that.

"After all, I can't hide in the attic of a pretty home." I sigh. "But one can dream right?" Laughing bitterly I plop down onto the armrest of one of the chairs. Thank goodness it's a Saturday, otherwise I don't know how long I could go without going crazier. Why is it so hard to just…. Not be a git for once? I want to scream at the sky, at the ground, in a cushion. Hell, I could really careless where I was doing it. It's not like I blamed my parents…. The ones who raised me with no love, a firm hand, the same punishments as the house-elves if you didn't succeed or live up to expectations. It's because of them that I can't not just stop being terrible to Potter, Granger, and Weasley. So… I guess I actually did blame my parents. _'Not that that could change anything' _

"No matter what I will always be nothing." I whisper inaudibly. "After all I am just a lowly ex-Death Eater. Nothing to be proud of." I pull my left sleeve up, looking at Dark Mark. Instead of moving around on my skin like it has for the past two years it had finally just stopped moving. Now it just looked like a hideous tattoo that a muggle would get.

Footsteps on the stairs snap me out of my pity-party, not the normal light ones that Mr. Goody-two-shoes Granger took, but ones that sounded like a leprechaun was drunk and trying to dance a jig in wooden shoes on metal. I rest my hands onto my elbows, and plop my face onto my palms. I really don't want to see anyone.

"Malfoy?" Came Potter's extremely timid voice. I snort in derision, what is wrong with him today? Can't he just go back to the Gryffindor Common Rooms and leave me to sulk by myself in front of a too hot fire place? His steps get closer until I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?" The concern in his voice was evident even before I lifted my head slightly and craned it around.

I was instantly startled as his face was a breath away from my own. Our lips almost touching, his breath came out in short puffs, each one seemed to caress my face gently, his amazing green eyes peered into mine. Full of concern, apprehension, and….. Fear? Since when has Potter ever feared me?

I pull my head away from his, stand back up, and say, "I'm fine." I blink slowly, was I being nice to Potter? The boy-who-will-always-be-a-thorn-in-my-side and was I… I gulp… Actually being nice to him?

**Sorry it took so long to post, I am so sorry you guys. It's kinda short, forgive me? Any ways I still haven't decided who she should be with so your challenge today is; Which boy and why? (Again sorry for those who have alreay done that I love your input for it) And if Hermione had a secret what would you want it to be? Thanks for reading again! Love you all! **


	6. Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down

My breath hitched slightly as he leaned slightly closer. His pale, pink tongue peeking out of his mouth and moistens his lips so a soft glimmer. Awww… Hell… Why in the world am I thinking, let alone looking at his lips? I silently berate myself. Turning around I walk towards to fireplace, away from Potter, closer to the warmth that I couldn't feel, pulling on the sleeves of my robes, pale fingers contrasting with the blackness of the robes. Making sure it covered both of my arms, my hands curl over the top of the sleeves, effectively pinning them down, hiding the scars that adorn my beaten and bruised body. Pulling my hair into a ponytail just so I had something to do with my hands and not seem like he was affecting me at all.

"Malfoy…" Potter's hesitant voice was soft, almost like he was talking to a scared child. "Is there something that you need to talk about?" Stepping lighter than before he moved closer to me. "Please, tell me?" He was pleading now. I just shook my head, there was no way I would ever let him know just how much it meant to me to have someone actually offer to let me talk about my problems to them.

"Listen Potter, I really don't need help, especially from the likes of you." The harshness in my voice mixed with the bitterness I felt at how loved he was at the Weasley's, how lucky he was that he actually had friends that had more than an ounce of a brain. How much I craved the feeling of actual human interaction. Of affection, of… Acceptance.

"Somehow, I doubt that." The footsteps stopped as arms circled around my slim waist effectively stopping my breath…. And my heart. "It's okay, I've got you now." Potter's warm breath caressed the back of my neck, leaving goose bumps along it. "It's perfectly fine, you're okay." Wisps of my hair tickle my face as it moves forward with each word he speaks.

"Harry! Where are y-" Flaming red hair comes down the spiral staircase, "What are you doing?" Weasley's voice was low, and careful, like a vipers. Ready to strike at the first sign of motion. Potter's strong, yet soft, arms drop from my waist like they had been burned, I wince slightly as I fear he would strike me for allowing him to do that. Closing my eyes I wait for the blow, most likely harder than the one my father would ever be able to land. Only it never came.

"She's upset, can't you see that?" Potter's voice was strained, I assumed he had turned around since I still stood facing the fire, the warmth no comfort at all.

"Who's upset?" A new voice sounded. Oh lovely, Granger's up. Spinning quickly around I look at each boy square in the eyes before leaving the room, feeling the strangeness of tears pricking the back of my skull. Something that I had noticed had been happening alot lately. Racing down the corridors towards the Owlery, the only safe place in the entire castle. At least to me.

Pushing down a student as I round a corner and ignoring the "HEY!" That sounded behind me I continued rushing, weaving my body in and around the students, accidentally pushing, knocking, and practically trampling some of them in my rush towards my sanctuary. After a long sprint, I was finally at my destination. The smell of owl droppings, dust, and feathers assaulted my sensitive nose, but in all honestly I couldn't care less at the moment. Rushing to the open window I push my pale face into the night air, taking deep gulps of air into my overheated lungs after the quick sprint across the castle.

I close my eyes, the soft tips of blonde lashes brush the tops of my cheekbones, much like the butterfly kisses my mum used to give me before she grew so…. Distant to me. As I open my eyes back up, I roll my eyes to look up at the starry night sky, glad that for now I can pretend the glistening salt water on my lashes are just new stars forming a new constellation. Certainly not anything that could possible have to do with the tear ducts that are my own.

A sob catches in my chest as I blink rapidly, trying to dry away the on-coming tears before they even have time to trail down my face. A shudder rips through my body as another silent sob racks my thin body, more tears fall down my face as the cold wind whips into the water that trails down my gaunt face. The thrashing of the wind barely pulls the moisture to spread further out than the thin line they have already been falling in. More coldness sets in as one-by-one each tear lands on my collar-bone and closer to my heart. "How fitting." My wire-sense of humour can't resist talking back to me, even if there hadn't been much to say before. "Seems that the world has finally decided to show me just how cold I am by allowing each tear to fall on my equally cold heart." As I say this I know just how true it is by the ever more persistent tear tracks and the pit of dread I feel in my stomach. Nothing I can do will ever allow me to change the past. Hell, we all know what happens to those that travel more than a day into the past.

Shuddering at the thought of how much more screwed up my life would be if I did just knick a time-turner and turn it back to year five is a daunting thought. No one knows better than the Malfoy's how messed up things can get when mixed with going into the past. No, I decide, I won't go back, and I won't let these… Scars, dictate my life. With that thought I pull my shirt up, looking once more on the scar that Auntie Bella had carved into my skin. **_BLOOD TRAITOR_** would forever mar the pale, nearly flawless skin for the rest of my days.

"Did you see the way she practically tore out of the room?!" A bark of laughter resounded up the echoing hallways leading up to the Owlery. "Oh Merlin! That was priceless! And how Harry practically defended her!" A snort of complete confusion. "Come to think of it, why did you defend her?" The grating voice of the one and only Ronald Weasley came ever closer. Ripping down my shirt, hiding the hideous wound that would never heal completely.

"Oh my god!" Granger practically screamed when he saw me, though why he was screaming was completely discombobulating. Reaching a shaking hand out he pointed at my torso where the other two boys eyes were already glued. Glancing down at where he was pointing at the spurting red that appeared easily under the white standard shirts we had to wear.

"Shit." I cursed, thankful that at least the blood had formed together so as not to be able to show what was written on me. Glancing at the other boys I found it a miracle that they had been able to live so long on their own. Granger looked like he was running through every healing spell he knew; whereas, Weasley just looked constipated. Potter was standing stock-still, staring in horror at my shirt. "Well… That's my cue to leave." Giving a pathetic little wave I raced out of the room, pushing past Potty on my way out of the door causing him to crash into Granger who in turn ended up crashing to the floor. I would have laughed if it wasn't a matter of time before my last breath was drawn. Most people didn't know that much about what happened if baneberries and bloodroot were mixed together, even less knew of the devastating consequences they had on a wound.

My lungs were burning even more as I pushed myself, my short legs cramping up as I skidded down the hallway, blood falling down my skin and dripping onto the floor. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, my vision was only bleary shapes and arches, sound was dull, like the sound of everything under water. I couldn't feel the coldness of the ghosts' bodies as I ran straight through them. I couldn't feel my hand being smacked into the wall, couldn't feel the bone tearing through my skin, couldn't even see the crimson blood spilling out of my wrist. I couldn't even smell the rotting flesh as the wound festered as it had been open.

**Okay so I know it's not super long like I promised it would be, and I know its been forever since I have written last... And I promise I have not abandoned this story! I just kinda got bit by a plot bunny and well... I'm kinda working on another story along with this one... And maybe working on a new one as soon as I figure out the particulars... However! I promise that one of these up coming chapters will be long! Thanks for putting up with me with my scatter-brained plots**


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